I have never been one to shirk away from novelty themes. You will find me absolutely cutting sandwiches into dinosaur shapes and creating faces on pizzas through the power of olive eyes and red pepper lips. I like to think it’s a quest to amuse my children, but actually it might just be that I’m a big kid. READ MORE
For us half term is almost over. There have been sleepovers at Nanny and Baa Baa’s, Lego bought, tantrums had and of course, pizza eaten. And so I find myself craving on behalf of my kids, green and good things. READ MORE
The sheer alchemy of applying heat to ingredients never ceases to amaze me. Take apples for example. Raw apples are tart and bright and crisp and loud. Cooked apples are soft and slow and quiet. You could secretly eat cooked apples without anyone knowing. Raw apples are too shouty for that. READ MORE
I had quite an expensive education. It involved Latin and wearing a blazer. I’m afraid I’ve never had a cross to bear with regards to school. I don’t have stories of being miserable. Not especially. I was bullied a little in the early years but no more than the next kid. I was reasonably popular. I was reasonably good at my studies. There were enough stupid rules for my teenage angst ridden self to rage against. (I still don’t understand why we had to ask a teacher for permission to remove our blazer. Discipline gone mad). READ MORE
Every so often I make a recipe and pop a pic up on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram and despite me thinking it looks a bit of a mess, people seem to like the sound of it. READ MORE
If you read women’s glossy magazines you’ll be well versed in the art directed images of Bonfire Night. Cosy looking smiley kids, wrapped up in matching striped hat, glove and mitten combos, a large bonfire lit in the background with caution over hedgehogs thrown to the wind, bowls of steaming soup, chilli and of course, toasted marshmallows on sticks served alongside whiskey laced hot chocolate (for the adults naturally).
Well, I’m here to inject a little reality into proceedings. Does any of this sound familiar?
Now before you go and send me a sternly worded email about this not being an authentic Parkin recipe like Aunt Hilda used to make, or that really all Parkin should contain lard… or even that Parkin should be made weeks in advance of Bonfire night to allow it to go all sticky and mature. Before all that happens – stop! I know. I’m not even Northern so I can’t use the old ‘well this is how my Grandmother made it so there’ excuse. This is a version of something that may or may not taste like the Parkin traditionally served in Yorkshire and Lancashire on Bonfire Night. If you don’t fancy it then I can heartily recommend my treacle toffee flapjack.
Lots more recipes like the one below in my book, Recipes from a Normal Mum, out now… on Amazon, at Waterstones, WHSmith, The Book Depository and many smaller outlets.
One year ago: Chocolate hazelnut truffles and a Delicious microwave Christmas pud
Two years ago: Mini Yorkshire pudding canapes and Christmas pudding fizz and Brandy butter icing and Lemon drizzle secrets
Three years ago: Lime meringue pie with chocolate pastry and Christmas scones and Ginger cake with gingerbread Christmas cottage and Bonfire night treacle toffee and My festive take on cheesecake
Four years ago: Moonuts (forget cronuts… these are fab and much easier), Cheese biscuits and Parsnip soup and a Steamed cherry and pecan pudding
Ingredients:
Preheat the oven to 180°C/gas mark 4. Grease and line a 20 x 20cm ish tin. Put the butter, sugar, treacle and golden syrup in a pan and melt over a low heat until the sugar is just dissolved and allow to cool slightly. Place the dry ingredients on top of the molten syrups and butter mixture and give it a little mix. Add the milk and egg and then beat with a wooden spoon until completely combined. Pour into the tin and bake for about 45 minutes in the centre of a preheated oven until firm and a skewer comes out of the centre clean.
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This recipe is all about the preparation. You just need to be a busy bee (with helpers if possible) getting everything ready. Think of it as a baking version of a stir fry. Lots of chopping (ie/beating, whizzing, rolling and snapping) before a fast fry (assembly job).
My sons are tickled by these cupcakes. Hope you like them. There’s a video in case my instructions are difficult to understand. Please forgive the poor lighting, obsession with uttering ‘erm’ and the general detritus in the background. I’m clearly an amateur when it comes to video making. Forgive me. I will get better. Well, I can hope.
Lots more recipes like this in my book, Recipes from a Normal Mum, out now… on Amazon, with The Book People, at Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, Waitrose, The Book Depository and many smaller outlets.
One year ago: Hazelnut cupcakes with Nutella buttercream and Red root reblochon bake and Simple banana cake
Two years ago: Cherry tomato frittata and Lemon brioche or Death by chocolate cake
Three years ago: Tiramisu profiteroles and Drunken cherry brandy mincemeat or Macarons
Four years ago: Easy cheesy pasta and Almond coated chicken and Mince pies for mince pie haters
Bonfire cupcakes
Makes 12
Ingredients:
Make the buttercream by beating the butter until soft using either a wooden spoon, a handheld mixer or a stand mixer. Then add the icing sugar a spoonful at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the vanilla and milk/water and beat well until soft and creamy – about 7 minutes.
Divide the buttercream into equal thirds, then remove a heaped tablespoon from each bowl and transfer to another (a 4th bowl). This 4th bowl will have less buttercream in that the other three. This is the one to colour dark brown. Use a toothpick to transfer the food colouring into the icing. Mix well with a spoon. Colour the other three bowls of buttercream red, orange and yellow. For the red colour use both red food colourings to achieve a really dark red. Spoon the buttercream into an icing bag fitted with a Wilton 1M tip, a teaspoon at a time, alternating between red, orange and yellow.
Make the ‘dirt’ by food processing the Oreo cookies. If you use the original ones with the cream centre, remove this before blending. Place the ‘dirt’ in a bowl into which one of your cupcakes will fit. Prepare the Matchmakers by snapping the mini ones in half to make 72 sticks – or cut regular Matchmakers up into 72 sticks about 2cm long. Massage a dot of the black food colouring into the white fondant until you have a marbled effect. Roll a ball of fondant about 1cm across between your palms to make stones. Repeat to make 72.
Use a knife to spread some of the dark brown buttercream around the outside rim of the cupcake, about 1cm thick all round. Be sure to spread it to the edge. Tip the cupcake upside down and push into the Oreo dirt. Pipe a swirl of buttercream ‘fire’ into the middle of the cupcake, holding the piping bag at a 90 degree angle, inside the Oreo dirt. Be sure to release the pressure of the piping bag as you come to the end of the piping. Place 6 fondant stones into the very edge of the buttercream fire, evenly spaced. Add 6 Matchmaker sticks in between the fondant stones. Done!
There are a few things that must be done on Bonfire night. These are The Law according to me:
You must eat a jacket potato out of foil and with a plastic fork. It should be so scalding hot you will try and blow the hot air from your mouth.
You must wear something woollen, preferably mittens, but a hat or gloves are also acceptable. You get extra points if the mittens are attached to each other by a long piece of string that passes though the arms of your coat.
You must write your name using a sparkler and be disappointed when the first letter disappears before the last one is written. Unless you name is Bob or Tim or Fay in which case you may have time.
You must have a bad Catharine Wheel experience. A phut phut whizz, plonk.
You must eat the toffee from a toffee apple in an undainty fashion, discarding the mealy apple for wildlife to snack on.
You must try and have a conversation about hedgehogs hiding in bonfires. This conversation may include reminiscing about Blue Peter programmes from your childhood.
You should say ‘oooh’ and ‘aaah’ a lot. Obviously.
If you go to an organised show you must moan about how quickly the fireworks are over.
Re: the above Law; all the adults must have a converastion about how expensive fireworks are.
If you put on a show and a ‘spread’ at home you should serve warm soup, possibly chilli and cold beer. Dads or Person Pretending Not To Be Afraid of Fireworks should do a lot of crouched running from the back of the garden to the back door. It’s The Law.
Onto the recipe; enough of these laws and rules. This recipe is not a family tradition. It’s something I came up with when I should have been doing something else. So it actually is kind of rule breaking. Except it’s a recipe, so it’s not a rule breaker as it relies on measuring and weighing things properly. Please note, if you weigh out your ingredients wrongly with unreliable scales, the flapjack may well be a bit gloopy or a bit ungloopy. It’s all good, but beware, as weighing syrup and treacle is hard. In that it’s easy to pour too much in.
There is one thing I am going to warn you about in a serious voice; this flapjack is in parts stuck together solid as rock, and in parts not so stuck together – it’s all dependant on the toffee distribution. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just scoop it all up and eat it like a piglet.
Makes about 9 reasonable slices though depends on the size of your tin/silicone thingy.
NB: If you are using a proper old fashioned tin then grease and line it first please.
Ingredients:
Preheat the oven to Gas 4/180C. Take the butter, treacle, golden syrup and sugar and pop into a large saucepan. Melt together on a medium heat until all dissolved. Remove from the heat and add the oats. Stir, stir, stir until all the oats are covered.
There are two ways you can approach the toffee distribution. I just chucked all my toffees in, stirred and then spooned the lot into a silicone tray bake thing (20 x 25cm), leveled it with the back of a spoon and baked for about 25 minutes. This works fine. When the flapjack is ready and starting to crisp up around the edges (watch this if you are using a different sized tray) I removed it, then let it cool for about 10 minutes.
Then, now this IS important, next I scored out 9 portions through to the bottom of the tray using a blunt knife. You need to do this whilst the toffee is still molten. If you don’t you will just have one huge treacle toffee flapjack that will stubbornly refuse to be cut. This isn’t an issue if you feed your family a bit like I like to feed Canada Geese – making them fight over one large piece of bread/flapjack. It is an issue if you’re a little more civilised. Once cut, simply let it cool and eat with a sparkler in one hand.
If you prefer to be a bit more uniform in your toffee distribution you can, pre baking, level the flapjack into the tray then add toffees at regular intervals, perhaps in the middle of each flapjack-square-to-be. Then bake. This way you don’t have to worry about the scoring after baking. It’s up to you. You know what kind of baker you are.
Have fun on bonfire night! Don’t forget to check for hedgehogs.
Holly Bell 