Toddler honesty is a dangerous thing. And very lucky it’s something most kids, other than sociopaths, grow out of. Let me give you an example. I’ll set the scene, playschool pick up today, almost midday, me feeling kind of triumphant that I’d run for a whole 12 minutes at the gym AND lifted some weights. Yeah, check me out with slightly firm bingo wings. I’d also done the weekly shop, scrubbed the tiles in the bathroom, put on 2 loads of washing and emptied the dishwasher. I felt just fine and dandy if a little domestic.
Out springs youngest son carrying his art bag in his mouth, like a dog. Playschool leader looks me in the eye and reports that youngest son has bitten one of his pals, R, today. It was about a car.
Me to youngest son: ‘Why did you bite R? You know that’s unkind don’t you?’
Youngest son: ‘He was tasty.’
He smirks, he bounces away. I shake my head and vow to sort this all out at some point, maybe tomorrow and after some red wine this evening. A very honest Hannibal in the making? Or a dishonest lover of cars? What is worse? Answers on a postcard.
Here’s a recipe for a very honest loaf that will make you feel positively religious. It makes one HUGE loaf or two smaller ones. Freezes well once baked and cooled too.
Comments, as always, welcomed. Especially any with child rearing advice. Or rather non biting advice.
One year ago: Cranberry biscuits and Mother’s Day carrot cake in a cup
Two years ago: Walnut bread and Puff pastry
Three flour loaf
- 200g rye flour
- 500g granary flour
- 300g strong white flour
- 14g fast action dried yeast
- 10g salt
- 30g hemp oil or olive oil
- 700mls warm water
- Extra flour for dusting
Mix all the ingredients together except the flour for dusting. Combine with a spoon or with a quick turn of the dough hook on your stand mixer, then leave for 10 minutes – I won’t bore you with why, but this reduces kneading time. Then either knead by hand or in a mixer until the dough looks really smooth and elastic. About 5 mins in the stand mixer – maybe double for hand kneading. Pop into a large bowl and cover with clingfilm. Leave to double in size. The colder the place you proof the dough the longer it takes. The longer it takes to proof the better it tastes – so worry not if you have a cold house.
Once double the size, knock the dough back by pushing down with your fist and then turning a few times. Alternatively give it a few turns of the dough hook in your mixer. Shape into either one humongous loaf or two smaller ones and pop onto a floured baking tray. Dredge flour over the top and cover loosely with clingfilm. When doubled in size slash the top with a very sharp knife a few times (about 1cm deep) and then bake in a preheated oven at 200C/Gas 6. The bread is ready when it’s well risen, brown in colour and it sounds hollow when tapped underneath. If making 2 loaves allow about 25 minutes; for the very large one about 45 minutes – but please watch them… all ovens are different, plus the thickness of the loaf in terms of the way you shape it will make a difference to baking time.
Leave to cool on a wire rack before slicing and devouring.
Get the monthly newsletter...
and subscribe to get all recipes straight to your inbox!
Holly Bell 
Mmmn lovely bread. Didn’t hold its shape on 2nd prove though. But delicious anyway!
Funny it didn’t hold its shape. Can be that your flour may not have absorbed as much liquid as mine did making it a wetter dough. x
we made this today, did half the quantity and it needed cooking for 45 minutes, did we do anything wrong? It tastes LOVELY!
Nope, it all depends on how thick the loaf/baton was and also the cooker you use so as long as it sounds hollow when you remove it and it also tastes great you’re onto a winner! xx
I used to bite as a child and then one day my dad bit me to show me how much it hurt. I didn’t bite again!
I was a biter too and that’s exactly what my dad did to me! I can’t bring myself to do it though. x
The joy of children! I remember be hauled in by the school when my son had (at primary school) spat on another child. I was mortified and the school went on about germs and how disgusting it was. The good news is that my son is never in trouble at secondary school and doing very well whereas the boy he was provacated to spit at spends most days kept after school and is a thug trouble maker. Don’t dispair, just explain the germs thing for both him and the recipient of the bite, that might be enough to put him off! I’m sure he’ll grow up to be lovely:-)